Trying something new.

I was talking to a dear friend the other day and she mentioned she was feeling unusually sad over a difficult situation she was going through in her life. As she spoke about her situation and her feelings regarding what she was going through, I realized that her circumstances were only becoming worse due to some of the things she was intentionally doing. I listened as she explained how she was so upset that she barely left her apartment and she would spend days on end watching sad movies, listening to sad songs, and going over and over in her mind the details that led her to be in the situation she was in now.

Although, I knew exactly where she was coming from, because we have all been there at one point or another, I could not understand why she intentionally chose to make herself sadder than she already was. Why on earth would my college educated, street savy and logical friend, continue to bring more situations and circumstances into her life that gave her more opportunities to feel sad, guilty, and hopeless? The whole scenario made no sense to me, but I wanted to be careful when choosing my words and I did not want to make her feel any worse than she already did, so I continued to listen and towards the end of our conversation, I simply asked her if she liked feeling sad? Her reaction and response was what you would imagine-she immediately asked if I was crazy and she stated that no one in their right minds could possibly like the feelings and emotions that came with being sad. So, with this being said, I began to point out to her that some of the actions she was taking were only making her situation worse.

 Let's be honest, life will have it's ups and downs, things will happen that we wish didn't have to happen, but in all reality it is our response to our circumstances that will make all the difference. Again, I understand that when you are going through a difficult time the last thing you want to do is be around happy people, laugh at silly things or pretend that everything is ok. So if you find yourself in a similiar predicament, I encourage you to try a new approach.

Like I told my friend, if you are already sad and down and feeling quite hopeless, don't put on sad music, don't watch a depressing movie, stay away from reading a sad and tragic love story. None of these things will make you feel better-NONE. On the contrary you will only feel worse. I urge you to do the very opposite of what you may be used to doing, turn on a funny movie, read a happy feel good type of book, surround yourself with happy positive people, listen to fun, upbeat music, make an effort to lift yourself from the negativity that surrounds you. I promise you-you will begin to feel better, it might not fix your current situation but it will uplift you immediately and change your thoughts and feelings. Things will begin to look a little brighter and your spirit will begin to shine once again.

This friend I mentioned earlier, did exactly as I suggested she do and although I cannot say that her situation is remedied 100% she told me days later that after making some of these small changes- little by little her outlook began to change, her emotions towards the things that were going on in her life began to shift and things are slowly but surely looking up. She isn't unlike you or anyone else who might be reading this, anyone can take these simple steps and begin the process of turning things around. Keep in mind that life isn't so much about what happens to us- but about what we perceive happens to us. So remember, next time you are not feeling your best, don't turn on the sad love song station, don't read the sad book, and most definitely do not watch the movie which will make you cry for 2 hours, try the exact opposite and see how it goes. It can only help!