Trying something new.

I was talking to a dear friend the other day and she mentioned she was feeling unusually sad over a difficult situation she was going through in her life. As she spoke about her situation and her feelings regarding what she was going through, I realized that her circumstances were only becoming worse due to some of the things she was intentionally doing. I listened as she explained how she was so upset that she barely left her apartment and she would spend days on end watching sad movies, listening to sad songs, and going over and over in her mind the details that led her to be in the situation she was in now.

Although, I knew exactly where she was coming from, because we have all been there at one point or another, I could not understand why she intentionally chose to make herself sadder than she already was. Why on earth would my college educated, street savy and logical friend, continue to bring more situations and circumstances into her life that gave her more opportunities to feel sad, guilty, and hopeless? The whole scenario made no sense to me, but I wanted to be careful when choosing my words and I did not want to make her feel any worse than she already did, so I continued to listen and towards the end of our conversation, I simply asked her if she liked feeling sad? Her reaction and response was what you would imagine-she immediately asked if I was crazy and she stated that no one in their right minds could possibly like the feelings and emotions that came with being sad. So, with this being said, I began to point out to her that some of the actions she was taking were only making her situation worse.

 Let's be honest, life will have it's ups and downs, things will happen that we wish didn't have to happen, but in all reality it is our response to our circumstances that will make all the difference. Again, I understand that when you are going through a difficult time the last thing you want to do is be around happy people, laugh at silly things or pretend that everything is ok. So if you find yourself in a similiar predicament, I encourage you to try a new approach.

Like I told my friend, if you are already sad and down and feeling quite hopeless, don't put on sad music, don't watch a depressing movie, stay away from reading a sad and tragic love story. None of these things will make you feel better-NONE. On the contrary you will only feel worse. I urge you to do the very opposite of what you may be used to doing, turn on a funny movie, read a happy feel good type of book, surround yourself with happy positive people, listen to fun, upbeat music, make an effort to lift yourself from the negativity that surrounds you. I promise you-you will begin to feel better, it might not fix your current situation but it will uplift you immediately and change your thoughts and feelings. Things will begin to look a little brighter and your spirit will begin to shine once again.

This friend I mentioned earlier, did exactly as I suggested she do and although I cannot say that her situation is remedied 100% she told me days later that after making some of these small changes- little by little her outlook began to change, her emotions towards the things that were going on in her life began to shift and things are slowly but surely looking up. She isn't unlike you or anyone else who might be reading this, anyone can take these simple steps and begin the process of turning things around. Keep in mind that life isn't so much about what happens to us- but about what we perceive happens to us. So remember, next time you are not feeling your best, don't turn on the sad love song station, don't read the sad book, and most definitely do not watch the movie which will make you cry for 2 hours, try the exact opposite and see how it goes. It can only help!

From so long ago...

An untamed heart loves until it's death
deepest of emotions that take away one's breath.
A limitless love, unaware of pain
willing to sacrifice it all in hope and faith's name.
No way to control what's been going on
searching for answers of who I've become.
My eyes and my soul hold all the power
no longer reasoning, sinking deeper by the hour.
The forbidden fruit took all I had hidden
raptured me falsely, I can't pretend it didn't.
A lesson to learn in the classroom of life
memories that were engraved profoundly as if done with a knife.
I was released from the chains after seeing the light,
we live and we learn more often than not in hindsight.
Destiny took me to the stars and the moon,
only to let me down to an underserved doom.
I breathe in today, wishing I owned your heart
but many times what we think is true love- was not from the start.
Forgive and forget, smile and move on
to stay here and hold on to you would simply be wrong.
As I look towards my future, it is you who I'd give my all to see
but who knows what life has in store, I must let it be.
A picture of perfection, a story untold-
a piece of my heart- in your hands you still hold.

Serenity by James Allen

Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.

A man becomes calm in the measure that he understands himself as a thought evolved being. For such knowledge necessitates the understanding of others as a result of thought, and as he develops a right understanding, and sees ever more more clearly the internal relations of things by the action of cause and effect, he ceases to fume, worry, and grieve. He remains poised, steadfast, and serene.

The calm man, having learned how to govern himself, knows how to adapt himself to others. And they, in turn reverence his spiritual strength. They feel that they can learn from him and rely upon him. The more tranquil a man becomes the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Even the ordinary trader will find his business prosperity increase as he develops a greater self-control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a man whose demeanor is equitable.

The strong, calm man is always loved and revered. He is like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or sheltering rock in a storm. Who does not love a tranquil heart? a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those who possess these blessings for they are always serene and calm. That exquisite poise of character that we call serenity is the last lesson of culture. It is the flowering of life, the fruitage of the soul. It is precious as wisdom--more desirable than fine gold. How insignificant mere money-seeking looks in comparison with a serene life. A life that dwells in an ocean of truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of the tempests, in the eternal calm!

How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character and make bad blood. It is a question whether the great majority of people do not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control. How few people we meet in life who are well balanced, who have that exquisite pose which is characteristic of the finished character.

Yes, humanity surges with uncontrolled passion, is tumultuous with ungoverned grief, is blown about by anxiety and doubt. Only the wise man, only he whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him.

Tempest-tossed souls, wherever you may be, under whatever conditions you may live, know this: In the ocean of life the isles of blessedness are smiling and the sunny shore of your ideal awaits your coming. Keep your hands firmly upon the helm of thought. In the core of your soul reclines the commanding Master; He does but sleep; wake him. Self-control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power. Say unto yoru heart, "Peace. Be still."

Watch your words.

The words you speak have a great deal of power, whether you knew this or not, I invite you to give this concept some thought. Most of us have a tendency to speak without realizing the types of words we use to describe situations, our emotions and our overall feelings towards circumstances in our lives.

When I first heard about this concept from the book The Power by Rhonda Byrne, (a book I recommend that you read) I decided to monitor my words and become aware of the things I was saying. The book explained that words and everything else in this universe has a frequency, so the words we use automatically place us in an either positive or negative frequency. These frequencies attract what comes into our lives through the law of attraction.  (a wonderful concept that we will get into later)

When this idea began to sink in and I realized the kinds of things I was saying in my every day interactions with others, I decided it was time to make a conscious effort to avoid some of the terms I was using. The results of my monitoring has greatly improved my life, the overall quality of my days and my attitude towards people,  places and circumstances that I encounter daily.
 For this very reason, I suggest to you to try and pay attention to the things you say. Take a day or maybe even just a couple of hours and monitor the kinds of words you use, listen and pay attention to other people and they way that they express themselves and you will notice how more often than not people speak in a very negative manner -many times without even noticing it.

Before, I go on and give you a list of terms I am trying to stay away from, let me give you an  example of why it's so important to monitor your words. Let's say someone asks you- "how is work going?" and your answer is "Horrible, I'm always stressed, I don't have a free minute to myself and my boss is a nightmare" in that simple sentence you have just called into your life- by the way of  the law of attraction;  always being stressed at work, never having enough time and having a boss that is less than ideal. The words you spoke have placed you on those frequencies and the things you stated must be returned to you. You have called into existence that this is how your work situation is and has to be. The law of attraction must give back to you what you have put out into the universe.

Please understand that I am not suggesting that you lie when asked a question or that your answers or thoughts need to be perfect, but this simple question could have been answered in a much more positive manner for example, "Work is very busy, which makes my days go by faster, before I know it's time go home and my boss- well her standards and expectations are so high, that after working with someone like her/him I know I can work anywhere, but the important part is that I am blessed to have  job."

Do you see where I am coming from? Does this make sense to you? It takes some practice and a little bit of work but I promise you it will begin to make all the difference. Below I've listed some words and terms that I continue to make a conscious effort to avoid. Take a look and take the challenge. Evaluate your words and make an effort to change the way you express yourself.

Hope this helps!!

Words & terms to avoid:

That’s horrible
This is killing me              
I never have time
I'm dying        
I'm so frustrated         
I’m so upset
I'm going crazy
This is so overwhelming
Everything hurts
I'm exhausted
I’m disappointed                
This is retarded
I'm dead tired                 
I’m always stressed                         
That's terrible
Life sucks
I can't do it
I hate this
It’s disgusting

Happy words:

That's wonderful
That's beautiful
Amazing
Fantastic
Wonderful
I can
I have more than enough energy
Great
always
absolutely
yes, I can
I have more than enough time